The Rock n’ Roll Therapy Sessions-Broken, Beat & Scarred.

Be careful in choosing your life’s theme song. Be very careful. It’ s like asking God for patience. You will get what you ask for, and it will be tougher than you can ever imagine.

I chose Metallica’s “Broken, Beat, & Scarred” as the theme song for my life in 2009. Take a look at the lyrics, then I will continue.

You rise, you fall.
Your down then you rise again.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
You rise, you fall.
Your down then you rise again.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
Rise, fall, down, rise again.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
Rise, fall, down, rise again.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
Through black days, through black nights, 
Through pitch black insights.

Breaking your teeth on the hard life a’coming.
Show, your, scars.
Cutting your feet on the hard earth a’running.
Show, your, scars.
Breaking your life, broken beat and scarred.
But we die hard!

The dawn, the death, the fight to the final breath.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
The dawn, the death, the fight to the final breath.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
Dawn, death, fight, final breath.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
Dawn, death, fight, final breath.
What don’t kill you make you more strong.
They scratch me, they scrape me, 
they cut and rape me.

Breaking your teeth on the hard life a’coming.
Show, your, scars.
Cutting your feet on the hard earth a’running.
Show, your, scars.
Breaking your life, broken beat and scarred.
but we die hard!

Breaking your teeth on the hard life a’coming.
Show, your, scars.
Cutting your feet on the hard earth a’running.
Show, your, scars.
Raiding your soul in a hard luck story.
Show, your, scars.
Spilling your blood in a hot sun’s a’glory.
Show, your, scars.
Breaking your life, broken beat and scarred.

We die hard
We die hard
We die hard


Little did I know that when I chose this song, I was in for one of the toughest financial roads I would face. “What don’t kill you makes you more strong” echoes with a tough guy, gonna kick some ass attitude. But, in order to kick ass, you must have your ass kicked. 

In order for me to truly understand and appreciate the words, “You rise, you fall, you’re down then you rise again. What don’t kill you make you more strong”, I had to rise and fall, then claw my way back up. And not in a “Fight Club” kinda way. Falling and rising again meant sleepless nights. It meant going yet another week without a paycheck, so that the employees could get one. It meant looking at my kids and thinking, “Do they realize their dad is a failure and a looser?” It meant looking at my wife and saying, “I an’t leaving, no matter what.” It meant I had to look like I had my shit together, while living in a nice home in a nice neighborhood, wondering if it was all going to disappear. It meant starting a family with no debt (after we worked our ass off to get out of debt) only to sink every available line of credit back into our business so that our employees didn’t lose their jobs. It meant laid off employees hating my guts (and my family’s guts) and thinking that we are nothing but a bunch of rich assholes because we had to let them go. (Sometimes cornering my wife at a birthday party and calling her a bitch.) It mean falling on my hands and knees, weeping, while my kids napped because I felt like such an asshole. 

But, the song goes on. 


Breaking your teeth on the hard life a’coming.
Show, your, scars.
Cutting your feet on the hard earth a’running.
Show, your, scars.
Breaking your life, broken beat and scarred.
But we die hard!

“What don’t kill you makes you more strong!” Do you know how your muscles get stronger? You see, when you exercise, you are actually tearing your muscles. That is why you’re sore the day after you workout. It’s your body repairing those torn muscles. That’s why they get bigger. Same goes with a broken bone. When the bone heals, it is stronger than it was before. Some martial artists hit a rock with their hands and knuckles every day. This causes little breaks in their bones. After many years of doing this, their hands are literal weapons.

Walking through this personal financial crisis has caused me to tear some mental muscle and break some psychological and spiritual bones. I’ve had to look at myself and face the inner demons that can tear a way a mans worth. I had to get my ass knocked down. Again, and again. I had to cry and beg for this to stop, while life kept kicking me in the ribs, cracking and snapping them. But then…I got up.

Life now has a gleam of fear in his eye. It knows it’s my turn to take a swing. The beat down it has given me has done nothing but increase my strength. The pain it inflicted was meant to break me, but it made me stronger. Life knows it has an ass kicking coming my way. And it is not because or my strength. It is because of my weakness. Christ’s strength is made perfect in my weakness. And I am a very weak man. This scares my opponent, for it knows that we die hard.  

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